CHARNWOOD ELASTICS - STRAINED FRIENDSHIPS

Childish practical jokes are a common feature of factory type workplaces but it’s safe to say I will never see anything on the scale as it was in the dyehouse. It was the combination of an all male workforce under the age of 30 and management that was largely absent outside of the usual 9-5 office hours.

Typical examples included, throwing water bombs, inserting pieces of cardboard into peoples sandwiches, sticking obscene messages onto peoples backs, substituting someones drink with water out of the salt tank, tipping sour milk into someones locker and putting someones chocolate bar in the red hot steamer for 30 seconds then watching them open it. I have to admit that initially the majority of things that went on were funny, harmless and helped pass the day in what was often a tedious and boring job.

When this sort of thing went on in my school days I would nearly always insure that the work that was required to do in class was done first even when others around me were messing about, then and only then would I participate myself.

I took this exact same attitude into the workplace, there was a time for messing about and the job I was paid to do always came first. I was at the time very conscious of my production figures, if and only if everything was running smoothly would I participate in the practical jokes outlined above.  

After a while however a lot of the practical jokes lost their novelty value, you quickly learned never to leave food or drink unattended, to not let people see you go into the toilet or use the one in the warehouse, you checked your back for messages stuck to it and you pushed to door to the dye kitchen out in front of you so the jug of water balanced over the door frame just fell straight to the floor without soaking you. It became almost second nature to avoid most of these and I often wondered sometimes why people bothered.

I also started getting into arguments with others over some of the things that they did. It wasn’t because “I couldn’t take a joke” but because I drew a clear line between what was acceptable and what wasn’t. I basicly accepted anything that didn’t directly affect the job I was doing or my production figures. For example if someone threw a water bomb over the toilet door while I was inside no problem. However if someone threw a water bomb while trying to sort out a problem in my machine or the water soaked the paperwork for the job I was doing then that was completely unacceptable. I was at the time also learning to use the new, computerised and more advanced machine they had got so I felt a bit under pressure.

The main culprit was Mat Callaghan, I did try and point out what I have outlined above but he didn’t listen or want to listen. We started to argue on a regular basis within 6 months of me being there. Over the next year the arguments became more intense and more frequent. This situation was of course made much worse by the fact Mat was a good friend outside of work and he was also the one who got me the job in the first place.

When he started directly messing about with my machine causing it to jam up I was seriously considering making a complaint to management. All I wanted was to do my job not ruin friendships and it was stressful enough at the best of times. Despite everything that went on we seemed to have an unwritten rule between us that what happened in the workplace stayed in the workplace. It was common for us to be arguing like mad at 7 on a Friday afternoon then sitting around the same table in a pub 4 hours later.

However the day came when things did come to a head and we had a massive argument in the pub after work. Alcohol was a factor (as always) and I was absolutely fuming about it. I didn’t speak to him for nearly a week after that.  Then we had what would best be described at an “uneasy truce” but by this point Mat was already plotting his exit from charnwood elastics. He’d made no secret he wanted to leave for a better paid job and as soon as that chance came he took it. After that all the problems between us at work were forgotten about.

Mat leaving meant I was promoted to his job and this created a vacancy that was filled by a cocky, arrogant and obnoxious idiot called Marrant who was one of the worst people I have ever had to work with. I was now on the colours machine which was roughly 20 percent more money but 100 percent more stressful.

One problem had been replaced by others……………………………………………………